September 30, 2010 (MMD Newswire) - - Whether they will admit it or not, the only reason most men don't have affairs is that they're afraid of getting caught. We can preach at ourselves until we're blue in the face, but the plain truth is that being with only one woman for the rest of our lives is not only unappealing to many if not most men, it is actually unnatural. According to an article in Psychology Today, "Human beings are not wired to be monogamous. Monogamy is a social convention that we have imposed upon ourselves and one that flies in the face of both the evolutionary imperative, as well as our hardwired instinct for survival."
"Up until now, at least in modern-day America, the cards were stacked against the man who chose to find himself a little action on the side," says Jay James. (Never mind the older European traditions in which it was more or less openly accepted that married men had mistresses.) James is a creator of a new information product, Avoid Getting Caught (http://www.AvoidGettingCaught.com, which, true to its name, outlines what he and his co-creator Rick Robinson claim is a foolproof system for having an affair without getting caught. Though it may sound like a contradiction in terms, Avoid Getting Caught offers what the men say is a more honest approach to cheating.
"Wives seem to have an uncanny knack for catching their husbands in a lie, to say nothing of an affair," James explains. "Where that knack might have fallen short, there are thousands of private investigators who make their living using every trick in the very thick book to catch cheaters. And once the man is busted, a very hurt and angry wife is likely to sic the meanest divorce lawyer she can find on him, leaving the man broke, beaten, and probably out of the affair that caused the problem in the first place."
It's no wonder that many men continue to deny what they really want, rather than face the ugly scenario that is likely to play out. "If you're having trouble imagining what ugly looks like," Robinson says, "just roll these names off your tongue and see what comes to mind: Tiger Woods. Jesse James. Ashton Kutcher. John Edwards."
The purpose of Avoid Getting Caught is pure and simple, say its creators: to give men the information they need to be able to live out their dreams without having to worry about the unpleasant scenarios that usually result from "getting caught." The two men say they teach guys to recognize and avoid the telltale behaviors that give their activities away. "We also show men exactly what those private detectives do to catch them, so they can learn how to foil the efforts of even the most skilled gumshoe," James explains. "And we help men learn to be pragmatic and objective in their chosen behaviors, rather than acting on - and trying to hide - the guilt that will get them nabbed every time."
James and Robinson say their system includes advice from top private investigators and behavioral experts. "We cover a range of topics," says James, "from navigating conversational minefields that occur when wives get suspicious, to spotting when someone is tailing you (hint: it's not the stuff you see in movies), to finding the optimal playmate - the kind who won't rat you out." For those worried about getting busted by technology, Avoid Getting Caught also offers what its creators say are foolproof cell-phone and computer tips.
James and Robinson insist that the purpose of system isn't to destroy marriages, but to save them. Most men love their wives and want to stay in their marriages, yet are often miserable because of the little "extras" that they think they can't have anymore. By showing men how to fulfill those hidden desires without sacrificing their marriages, the men - and their wives - can be happier, and their marriages more stable. Take away the judgment, add some skills and common sense, and what will be left are husbands who are truly happy rather than bored and frustrated, and wives who feel secure and loved. About the only ones who won't be happy are the people who make their living exploiting other people's guilt and the ones who profit from the divorces that arise from that guilt.
Some critics will almost certainly protest that Avoid Getting Caught reflects a moral relativism that disrespects wives and is ultimately damaging to the institution of marriage and the family values that our culture claims to hold dear. James and Robinson see it differently; they say they are just helping men deal with reality in a smarter, more honest, and more civilized manner than has traditionally been the case. If an "open marriage" of the type that got so much press in the 1970s isn't possible - and it often isn't - then they offer the next best thing.
What it really boils down to, of course, is allowing married men to have the best of both worlds, to have their cake and eat it too - or, if you will, have their wedding cake with a little cheesecake on the side. It could be argued that this is a common human desire, not just restricted to married men and, for that matter, not limited to the realm of sex. But James and Robinson have narrowed their focus, saying their target audience is men between the ages of 35 and 60 who are making $60,000 or more a year and want to play around but don't want to get divorced. However, their advice will probably also appeal to some married women who also want a bite of that magical cake. (After all, that Psychology Today quotation did note that "human beings" are not wired for monogamy.)
In any case, James and Robinson claim that the advice and tips are guaranteed to work. "There are no complicated rituals to follow, no need for constant paranoia," explains Rick Robinson, "just some common sense and a few practical tools, and men will once again get to be men, and women will finally feel secure in their marriages." He adds, "I found statistics that show 74% of men would cheat if they knew they wouldn't get caught. All we want to do is help them accomplish their goal discreetly."
Says Jay James, "I believe if Tiger Woods had this system we wouldn't see or hear anything about the man in the media except how great his golf game is. We're providing a service to married men and their families by helping them stay together in a healthy marriage. What we're doing is better than any therapist could ever offer. And it's a heck of a lot cheaper than divorce."
For more information visit http://www.AvoidGettingCaught.com
Media Contacts: Jay James and Rick Robinson